Friday, November 5, 2010

On My Mind

There is so much on my mind I don't know where to start......
First, I am doing less & less on FB as I'm tired of having to "edit" what I say as I know there are people that some of my comments would just piss them off and cause problems down the road.  So I think that might be another reason I wanted to start blogging again. The other thing about FB is how I am starting to realize how discounted I am from the people that use to be so close to me.  Their lives are so different now than mine is and yet I feel bad for myself.  I have everything someone should want; a wonderful husband, two beautiful and healthy little girls, a warm home, and a fun new part time job.  So why do I still feel like I'm loosing something?
Next thing I've been thinking about is "what am I going to do with my time?".  I don't want to be one of these moms that overs books their kids in activities just so that when I talk to people I sound so busy/important.  Don't get me wrong I want my kids in different activities but only if they want to. So I keep asking myself what am I going to do when the girls are in school; that's only a couple years away.
I've also been thinking that I am having a harder & harder time feeling "normal".  I have been taking vitamin B complex, and other vitamins.  It is helping but it just feels like it's not enough.  I'm afraid to go to the DR as I don't just want them to Rx something that is going to turn me into a zombie, I want to feel normal again. I want to love each morning when I get up and right now that is just not how I feel. I've thought about seeing a Naturopathic Dr. as most of them are very willing to listen and then try to fix the problem.  Guess I'll have to make that decision soon, my family needs ALL of me.
There are still a lot of things running through my mind but it is getting late and I'm getting very tired.  More at another time.

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